I'm Still Alive

Aug 19 2018

I know you guys likely know I'm alive because I've been 'gramming a bunch on both my Adrianne account and Ponnopozz. But, I've basically been dead on here. And I know it. I've been waiting for Seth to finish up the Ponnopozz blog and have been using that as a convenient excuse to stop writing and sharing with you. And that's not cool.

Move: Right now, I'm sitting on my new balcony (!!!) with a million thoughts running through my head and it felt like the right time to write a post. Last week was a whirlwind and a huge step in my personal life because Seth and I moved in together. Even though I'm a serial relationship-ist, I have never lived with my partner. That is, until last Thursday. We had discussed that if things went well after my big move back to Chicago, then we'd talk about moving in together after a year. Things are going well, so we did, just shy of one year later.

The place is pretty sick and I will say, it was quite an intense few days once we decided to rent it. First off, the place is pretty pricey so I had to tell my frugal self that everything would be okay and the world wouldn't end if I moved into a nicer place. The price is not without good reason. It's a two bedroom with city views, including the brown line. It also has two bathrooms, a washer/dryer (!!!) and gorgeous floor to ceiling windows. We also had to move in a full month sooner (it was an 8/15 rental) so I'm currently paying dual rent. Which I can now justify because my Ponnopozz show will be hosted in my empty studio so all is right with the world. And lastly, we not only merged our belongings but also our beloved cats. We plan to take it very slowly with them – right now, they are in separate bedrooms. We've started to move some of my cat toys in with his cats and vice versa. The next step will be having them look at each other through my acrylic dry cleaning sign (lol)....a follow up post on this whole process would probably be good huh?

Art show: Another big thing going on is I'm hosting my own art show on September 22 (in my empty, old apartment). I thought of the idea while cleaning mats during my shift at Corepower Yoga. It seemed pretty obvious...I've got the place an extra month and I could totally hang art, possibly sell it and sling free drinks to thirsty Chicagoans. My insides are SO compelled to do this that I'm not even second-guessing this strong sense of intuition. Shit's happening and I hope you'll be there.

Europe: In less than two weeks, my immediate family and I are going to Europe! Lots going on, I know. We're starting in Athens, then Santorini, Brussels and finally, Paris. I'm pretty excited because our family dynamic has been much better these days and I truly think I'll enjoy the time spent with my parents and sister in a way I haven't before. I plan to take lots of pics for a recap post and possibly even a post about packing light for extended travel. I don't write much about travel but so many of you ask me about how I get away with a small carry on – might be useful to show you how.

Anxiety: Ahhh, don't think this shit has let up, because it hasn't. I realized recently that social media makes life look pretty perfect. I was talking to a good friend last week and she pointed out how much I'm adventuring around and living life to the fullest. Sure, I think that's partly true. Lately, things have been crazy and I've been pushing myself to make art, go back to a freelance job, continue therapy, practice yoga and dress like the game of CandyLand. Alas, anxiety doesn't decide to take a hiatus when life is good – in fact, I think it's the opposite. Things are going really well so I'm almost afraid that soon, they won't.

I've had many days where I've felt unseasonably panicked...pacing around my apartment half-packing a box, half-working on design, half-painting. Any concept of routine went out the window. Some days, I slept late, others I was up early af. Some days I painted but many, I didn't. Some days I compulsively planned future events (like my art show) and other days I my eyes glazed over as I watched Teen Mom 2. It's highly unpredictable, so much that I told my functional medicine doctor about it. She has recommended a few natural products that she hopes will help ease everything. If you're curious, they are:

It seems to help but I'll know more down the line. Glad I wrote this mini update. It was nice to flex my blogging brain and hopefully this will trigger a resurgence of sharing and writing. Thank you all.

Meet Adrianne

Colorful, wild paintings and other art by color lover and maximalist Adrianne Hawthorne.

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